Anesthesia of the heart

[Barrett Dorko]

The comic demands something like a momentary anesthesia of the heart. Its appeal is to intelligence, pure and simple.

Henri Bergson

I’m really quite funny, but most of my coworkers are unaware of this. Though careful not to say most of the things I can think to say, I can come up with many quips in the midst of clinical chaos. I know funny, and I’m funny.

But I commonly choose silence because I’ve learned that most of the therapists around me cannot figure out how to take a comment anything other than personally. They’re remarkably fragile when it comes to just about anything that exceeds the bounds of the mundane and banal discourse. Thoughtfulness, depth of understanding and consideration of multiple meanings disturbs them before it makes them pause and think.

So, I take some comfort in observation of the absurd and surreal. It surrounds me.

I consider it, and then laugh.

Silently.

[John W]

That must be excruciating. And not at all healthy, Barrett. My experience has been that funny people have to express their funniness like artists have to paint, draw, sculpt, etc.

What do you do at lunch time, go outside and throw snowballs at passing Volkswagen Beetles? "Blue one, black one, green one..."

[Barrett Dorko]

I don't eat at work or trade small-talk. Ive watched too many shovel in food and waste time on meaningless conversation. I know that sounds terrible

Creative activity of one sort or another is my outlet. You're right - we must have one.

[nari]

I don't eat at work or trade small-talk. Ive watched too many shovel in food and waste time on meaningless conversation. I know that sounds terrible

It doesn't sound terrible to me. If the company at the lunch tables does not 'click' with me, I don't stay. There are better things, from my perspective, to do.

On one occasion early in the piece I sat at a table with one of the social workers and we entered a discussion re one of her problem clients. After listening to her, and assuming she (the SW)was having very real difficulties, I suggested the client see a psychologist. The retort I received went on for ten minutes; she was furious that I had undermined her abilities.

Having committed a serious social gaffe, apparently, I didn't go back to the lunch room. Can't be bothered with precious professionals.

Nari

[John W]

Heck, Nari, at least you didn't suggest an astrologist!

[Robin V]

Silence also helps at times as it is ' one of the hardest arguments to refute '.

[Barrett Dorko]

Robin,

Absolutely. I've found that my silence has become increasingly effective, scary even.

Sometimes it even scares me.