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Barrett Dorko
19-10-2006, 08:36 PM
It's been a quiet week in Cuyahoga Falls...

I arrived at the Cleveland airport to find that I would be leaving 3 hours later than originally scheduled. As usual, no one is waiting for me tonight so I don’t let such things bother me. I had been given the gift of time once again, and I’ll use that to produce some writing or to read or stare blankly into space. To me, all of these things are pretty much the same. Not an exciting life to most, I’m sure, but it’s mine.

This delay meant we’d be in the air at the same time. I’d be surrounded by businessmen, young mothers with children and people who didn’t seem to know much about travel. He’d be crammed in with equipment, supplies and other men all dressed alike. Oh yes, there’d also be some weapons.

I look out at my classes full of therapists and wonder what connects us. Too often I can see very little despite the fact that our job descriptions are pretty much the same. Clearly, our education is remarkably disparate. I know many listening to me struggle to relate to the things I’ve read during the past couple of decades. I have to find something that we’ve all seen repeatedly and reinterpret for them in a convincing manner. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes not.

The air above Atlanta was heavy and wet and that above Baquba dry, as always. Today I am delayed by the forces of nature and he by forces much more mysterious. There are decisions made by people above and below him in rank moving a mountain of paper in order to accomplish anything, and any one of them can stop the entire process at any time for no apparent reason. Anything can hold him in place.

My son and I share many things, not all of them obvious to anyone but the two of us. We’re larger than most others but his body has the contours of a McCann and I’m pure Dorko. I joke that I gave him his internal organs and I think that’s actually true when I see his endurance in the face of so much physical stress. Being invisibly connected is what I’m dwelling upon just now, and both of us being forced to wait for a trip into the air above our world today makes me sense the connection even more acutely. Soon we’ll be up there together and, despite the distance from each other, I find some comfort in that. Of course, he’s flying from a place called Warhorse to another called Anaconda. I’m going from Cleveland to Atlanta. Clearly, we are not in the same situations while on the ground.

Finding an intimate and unique connection with other therapists is much harder for me and I suppose that’s no surprise. When I do manage to find this tie to my colleagues it is usually through our mutual disappointments and failures. Not always a whole lot of fun.

But Alex and I will soon be on the ground and in close proximity. We’ll mirror each other’s gestures and vocal inflections. We’ll laugh at the same things. I intend to tell him that I want to say to a stranger on a plane at the moment of takeoff, “You know, this whole thing was invented by a couple of Ohio Boys,” just to see if they get it, and Alex will smile and shake his head at his father’s foolishness. But I know one day he’ll probably say this himself.

Soon I won’t have to imagine our connection, I’ll see it before me, and I’ll feel it when I touch him. Today however all I can do is know for sure that it is only the air that separates us for a while.

That will have to do.

PTPete
20-10-2006, 06:27 AM
:cry: As a new(ish) dad this post brought a tear to my eye. As a father and therapist my thoughts and best wishes to you and your family.

Barrett Dorko
20-10-2006, 08:33 PM
Thanks Pete,

I actually wrote this while alone at lunch while teaching this week. Not a good idea, but you have to let this stuff out sometime. Believe me, I keep virtually all of this within me as I teach, but soon I won't have to.

For a while anyway.

Jon Newman
21-10-2006, 08:20 PM
I am posting in place of Jon for now. He takes 5 hours to come up with something to say. It is wonderful that Alex is on his way back. I am sure his wife and the rest of his family will be delighted. Barrett and his son Alex are very similar. I had the distinct pleasure to meet Alex and Melissa (I got that right I hope) at Nanaimo last year. Welcome back Alex. Our thoughts have been with you while you were gone. Your picture emails always made us smile and think. Michelle Newman OTR

Jon Newman
21-10-2006, 11:24 PM
Happy homecoming Alex. I hope you find your adjustment to what you remember you left goes smoothly and that you'll take the time to post an experience or two you've had in the last year or so. I know many here would be very interested in reading about it.

Michelle's post reminds me that the "Nanaimo" was truly a remarkable event that continues to be the origin of many things that wouldn't have otherwise been. I'm glad we were there for it.

Maybe I should have taken the extra couple of hours before posting this one, but I think I'll let it stand.

Jon Newman
22-10-2006, 05:11 PM
Oh! Thanks for the trouble you took.

I knew I posted too early. She so knows me.

Barrett Dorko
25-10-2006, 01:51 AM
As of this morning, Alex is home in Seattle.

BB
25-10-2006, 04:03 AM
That's terrific Barrett. When do you get to see him in the flesh?

Barrett Dorko
25-10-2006, 02:06 PM
We'll all be together at Thanksgiving in Seattle.